The Inward Journey

Search me, O God, and know my heart; 
Try me and know my anxious thoughts; 
And see if there be any hurtful way in me, 
And lead me in the everlasting way. 

Psalm 139:23-24 

How do you feel about introspection? What does the prospect of looking inward do to you? Even more, how does the possibility of allowing the Holy Spirit to show you yourself affect you?  

Everyone of us is on the introspection spectrum. On one side are those who want to talk about everything. Every event and feeling must be discussed, dissected, and affirmed. On the other side are those who want to talk about nothing. No events or feelings need to be shared.  

There is a balance between the two. Healthy introspection is essential for walking in Divine love. I think only the Holy Spirit can successfully navigate us through the pitfalls of introspection.  

And I think for most of us, certainly for most men in the United States, the inward journey can seem unproductive, fear-filled, and possibly overly feminine.  

I attended a Bible study this morning where the leader asked us to discuss our inner lives with those at our tables – what do we keep walled off that is sacred space. The four other men at my table were in their late 20’s to early 30’s. I am 51. When I was their age I am not sure how aware I was of my interior life and how much it affected me. Over the years I have become increasingly aware of, and comfortable in, my core.  

But getting there continues to be a journey. And often times the journey has not been easy. But, and this has been tremendous for me, the inward journey has always been therapeutic, beneficial, and empowering. How would one value the treasure of understanding oneself more? 

In our passage, David cries out to his Father, asking Him to probe his heart. He is opening his deepest place to the love, care, and scrutiny of the One who knows him better than he knows himself. He asks to be probed in his heart – his deepest place. He exposes the very issues inside of him that cause him anxiety. David, as a man’s man, has issues that cause him internal instability. And then he asks His Father to uncover any way in him that is hurtful – hurtful to himself and to others. He does not want to hurt or be a source of hurting.  

This is powerful inner journey stuff.  

Lastly, he asks his Father to lead him, to go in front, in the “everlasting” way. What does the phrase “everlasting way” stir up in your mind? What kind of images do you see? I think one whose life is in the everlasting way is one at rest. There is a settled-ness like one who is comfortably at home. There is life enjoyed without the burden of going first, which is enormous.  

Further, David’s plea for godly leadership also recognizes his inability to lead himself in the everlasting way. It shows his humility. For a man, really any individual, to accept their own limitations is profound.  

Hopefully you are feeling the power of these short two verses. So much LIFE can be harvested here. However, understanding these verses and living them are two different realities.  

One potential barrier to living these verses is one’s hesitation for introspection.   

A second barrier, which I think can overcome the first, is trusting our Father enough to open one’s sacred spaces to Him. Many of us have stories of being vulnerable with others only to have them violate our trust. These offenses can easily lead us to withdraw for never wanting to feel that kind of violation again. And if we struggle to let people in who we can see, how much more to let our Father in who we cannot see.     

We must learn, one micro issue at a time, that our Father is safe and not harsh. He will show Himself miraculously appropriate in the way that He carefully, cautiously proceeds with us inwardly. In fact, you can pray and ask Him to give you whatever assurance you need that He will perfectly care for you. He will, through the Holy Spirit, navigate you with captain-like precision.  

He wants you to trust Him. 

He wants you to open to Him. 

He wants you to receive His love and His power.  

I really wonder what your attitude is toward your inward journey. I hope that these words and verses provide you some wisdom and courage. I pray that you will come to know your Father in a way that you can fling wide the gates of your heart to Him.  

Jesus teaches this about the nature of the Father/Son relationship in John 5:19-20,  

Truly, truly I say to you, the Son can do nothing of Himself, unless it is something He sees the Father doing; for whatever the Father does, these things the Son also does in like manner. For the Father loves the Son, and shows Him all things that He Himself is doing. 

May you encounter the love of your Father in such a profound way that you can experience the joys available in the inward journey and pray David’s prayer without hesitation.  

This is life in the overflow.